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Friday, December 3, 2010

Dreaming Big

For a cyclist, this is the time of year for dreaming big. As you ponder next season, aspirations of greatness flow through your mind. You can punch through the glass ceiling of your abilities and make anything happen. With another solid year of training and racing in your legs you have become stronger and smarter. There’s no doubt you’re going to take another giant leap forward next year. Throughout all of those races you go over in your imagination you believe in yourself. Nobody ever envisions getting second or third. Why couldn’t I win Elite Crit Nats next year? I could get in that magical breakaway and have everything go my way. It could be my turn to throw my hands up and let out that magical roar. It’s not the roar of happiness from winning, but the sound of raw emotion from deep in your soul. The emotion you’re going through while training, the emotion of countless defeats and bad luck. It’s the silencing of nonbelievers and praise of those that have stood behind you. It’s the purging of inner demons that have haunted your ascension to that moment.

However, as I’ve progressed and become more experienced, this period has become more than daydreaming. Early in my cycling career that’s how it was and I’m sure countless other bike racers would agree. However, when the season starts it’s a different story. Everyone has been dreaming about winning races but for every race there’s only one winner. Accepting this reality is hard for a lot of people. Some get mad and work harder, some reassess their goals in cycling and some just quit. As the years go by, more and more people disappear. It’s not necessarily that I’ve progressed a lot faster than the others that started when I did. It’s that I kept showing up. I worked through the tough times and never lost sight of what was important. Looking back over the past four years, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve skipped a workout. That’s been the difference. I’ve been able to dream big and stay motivated but also accept when those dreams don’t immediately become a reality. Cycling is a sport with a lot of sacrifice and little reward. For every win there are countless defeats and after all of the hard work and time in the saddle that can be a tough pill to swallow. You have to get some type of gratification from cycling other than winning. Those that don’t never make it.

This year has been a little different. I still find myself dreaming big, but it’s not just about bike racing anymore. I’ve always known there would be life after bike racing. I guess I had always thought there would come a time when I would just walk away from elite racing and that would be it. Bike racing would stop and life after bike racing would begin. However, my vision has widened. If I could stay in the cycling industry, make an actual salary and still race bikes, why in the hell wouldn’t I do it? I’m still young and my prime racing years are ahead of me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready to give up racing. I’ve worked full time and trained and raced before, and that was when I was doing construction. It’s not a matter of can I do it. It’s just a matter of capitalizing on the right opportunity.

I recently watched an interview with Adam Meyerson where he was asked who the next Adam Meyerson was. His answer was that he hoped there isn’t another Adam Meyerson. He didn’t want anyone else to go through everything he had to in order to get to where he is today. If you went around and asked cyclists if they wanted to be Adam Meyerson you would probably get a lot of yeses. However, if you went around and asked people if they wanted to be a full time amateur, live off of prize money for 10 years, quit, start a business, come back and finally make it pro and be somewhat successful in their late 30’s I don’t think you would get many takers. I say somewhat successful because he’s still not living off of bike racing alone. He works amazingly hard to run his coaching business and continue racing. Nothing against Adam, I have a deep and profound respect for him. He is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met and I enjoy being around him. It’s just not worth it to me to live the life of a struggling full time amateur for another ten years so I can go pro and barely make enough to scrape by. Especially if I can get a foothold on my career now with a job that I enjoy and still race bikes at an elite level.

Who knows, maybe I’m still just dreaming big as I always have, only with a new variable. Maybe the right opportunity won’t present itself and once again I’ll have to accept that the dream isn’t an immediate reality. If so, I’ll do the exact same thing I’ve always done. Grit my teeth, work my ass off and keep showing up.


"If you can dream it, you can do it." -Walt Disney