Through A Spotted Lens

In addition to the mental struggles resulting from cross ass kickings, this week I was visited by the cold, hard reality of cycling politics. It came, kicked me in the balls and stood over me while I lay on the ground writhing in pain, all the while laughing in my face.

It started out by hearing that I didn’t have a spot on Mt. Khakis next year. The team is downsizing due to sponsor difficulties and there just wasn’t enough money to support a larger squad. It immediately put me in a bind since I hadn’t been talking to any other teams and this news was coming in late. Most teams have already finalized their rosters for next season which has left me struggling to find a ride. However, I can’t be too upset. No one ever told me I had a spot for next year so I should have had contingency plans in place. I believed too many rumors, thought I was safe and learned a hard lesson.

The salt in the wound came later. Without going into too much detail, I had to sit here and listen to the back door dealings that go along with elite cycling teams. And yes, even in elite cycling money walks, or maybe it rides. Either way, it stung bad. My situation wasn’t actually affected. I didn’t have a spot before or after all this transpired. It’s not like my spot was taken from me, I never had it. And it doesn’t change what I have to do now. Namely, find a ride or just train my ass off over the winter, show up next year in a black kit and stomp the hell out of some races. Nevertheless, it was a shitty situation and there was some sleep lost.

The other day I was out riding, watching the scenery pass through my trusty sunglasses. The lenses are spotted from two full seasons of racing. They’ve been through a lot. Epic races where they were so caked in dirt and grime that you used more water cleaning them than you drank. The days of riding in oppressive heat, sweat covering them in a layer of salt, then having to clean it all off the next day so you can do it over again. I couldn’t help but get mad. It signified how hard I’ve worked over the past couple years but I’m left with no team and no support for next year. I’ll probably be wearing those same glasses next year because I won’t have a sponsor to give me shiny new ones. Nor do I have the money to buy them because I have to pay for all my equipment and still get to races. It’s incredibly frustrating. I felt like I finished the year strong and showed that I have the potential to be successful at the next level. So to be in this situation now is hard to stomach.

My week has been spent contacting people, scrambling to try to find a ride for next year. Needless to say, my efforts haven’t been particularly successful. It’s a tough market to begin with and the fact that it’s so late certainly isn’t helping my cause. Worst case scenario is, as I said; show up next year in a black kit, kick ass and hope some opportunities come up. So that’s what I’m preparing myself for. I’m still hoping I can find a team but I’m preparing myself for the worst. I’m sure as hell not going out like this, bitter and disappointed. It’s time to get all George McFly and lay out Biff to get the girl. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you either don’t know shit about Back to the Future or you don’t know shit about me!

The Struggle

Cross has turned into a mental battle like I hadn’t imagined. The range of emotions is varied and seemingly unpredictable. The course at Ken’s we’ve been doing every week and recently had a weekend race on is the main source of my frustration. The power sections are all slow, uphill grinds broken apart by very technical, single track sections where mistakes can be very costly. The course takes away all my strengths and hits me with my two main weaknesses. It’s basically a short mountain bike course. Needless to say, the average ride there is nothing short of demoralizing.

After the usual Thursday evening race there a couple weeks ago I hit a low point. After constant mistakes and struggles I was lapped by Hamblen. That in itself wasn’t that bad, it was just the icing on the cake. As I drove home my mind was going wild. “Why am I doing this? Should I just be resting and getting an early start on preparing for the road next year? How can I have a good year on the road and then suck this bad at cross? What am I doing wrong? All I do is sit around and ride my bike, how can I still suck this bad? Can I ever be good at this?” I was seriously contemplating my future in cross. However, the next morning epitomized why I hate bike racing. Every thought of quitting was gone and all I wanted to do was work my ass off. I think Myerson effectively described the love hate relationship in cross in his article for Bicycling. While I’m at it, here’s another interview with Adam where he talks about what’s happening with Team Mountain Khakis so you can stay up to date.

That weekend, me, Hammerstix and Matt Canter headed up to Virginia for the Richmond Festival of Cross. After the devastating performance at Ken’s I wasn’t holding my breath for a miracle but I went in with an open mind saying I was going to race hard and whatever happened happened. Luckily we were greeted with more traditional cross courses that allowed me to utilize some of my strengths on the bike. I didn’t feel so hot Saturday and finished an unimpressive 7th but I came back to get 2nd in the time trial (one lap of the course). I was a bit lucky Sunday with some people getting flats, including Hamblen who flatted both of his bikes. I managed to finish 4th, missing the omnium win by one point. Oh well, I won enough money to pay for the trip and finished second overall. While the competition in Richmond wasn’t too stiff and I was a bit lucky on Sunday, it was still a better weekend than I expected and my spirits were considerably higher than before. Also, a big thanks to Tim and Team Type 1 for letting us stay at the team house for the weekend! We really appreciate it.


Ahh, I miss pavement already.

Fresh off the weekend race at Ken’s, all I can say is I’m glad it’s over and I don’t have to do that course again. It’s cliché but I was like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. I couldn’t do anything but lose time. It was so frustrating, but I knew that going in so I wasn’t as upset with the outcome as I could have been. The NC series begins this weekend and I’m sincerely excited. I’m looking forward to real cross courses, especially Saturday in Southern Pines where I won the state championship as a cat 3 last year. Hopefully the feeling of severe disappointment is over.

In conclusion, the only thing that sucks worse than racing cross is not racing cross.






If you want sweet white Sidi's or a set of custom, hand-built tubular wheels glued up with white Challenge Grifo's, hit up the guys at Ken's Bike Shop here in Winston. The wheels are awesome and way cheaper than any carbon tubular while also being indestructable. By far the best value for cross wheels.

I Think I’m Starting to Party

Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for the title of this post. That’s a direct quote from Travis right before he went to sleep from anesthesia for surgery on his collarbone. While it’s quite humorous by itself, I also felt like it’s a good representation of my current state of mind.

I haven’t been partying in the literal sense much at all lately but things have been starting to come together and I feel like I’m hitting a groove. My Cyclo-cross woes were answered by a quick phone call to Jon Hamblen who hooked me up with a ride on the Ken’s Bike Shop team. While I was a little upset with the lack of support from Mock Orange, I was thrilled with the switch to Ken’s. It was immediately obvious he just wanted to help out and was happy to do so. It’s a great, positive environment to be in. It also means I get the continued mentorship of Jon which proved to be invaluable on the road and I assume it will be even more so in the dirt.

After the team situation came to fruition I was eager to get the cross season started. Winston once again amazed me with the fact that I could do three training races during the week without driving more than 45 minutes away! How many other places in the country can say that? As awesome as that is, the races didn’t go quite as planned. I’ve been training but I didn’t have the ultra intense efforts in my legs that are cross racing. That, combined with some mechanicals, made for a frustrating first week on the cross bike. However, the form is coming around quickly so I should be good to go by the time the NCCX season starts. Plus, there’s nothing like getting your ass handed to you to make you want it that much more. In addition to personal ambition, Ken had faith in me and I want to repay him as much as I can while proving that I deserve everything he’s doing for me. Results are certainly part of that. So I guess there’s nothing left to do but break out the embrocation and see what I can do.

I’m starting to rough out a schedule and work in a couple trips to the northeast for some UCI races so it should be a fun season. I’m definitely looking forward to it while anxiously awaiting news for next year on the road. Ahh, the anticipation.

Pro Life... As An Amateur

A lot has been going through my head this week. With last weekend marking the end of yet another long season on the road, rest was in order. My job ended a couple weeks ago so there has been plenty of time to sit back and ponder. Of course when you’re in my position you have to constantly be on the hustle. So I’ve been scraping some things together to keep the coffers from going bare but free time has been plentiful to say the least.

I live the life of a pro, without the paycheck. A pro’s weeks are spent eating, sleeping and riding bikes. Mine are the same except for the addition of a job. A pro’s weekends are generally spent racing. Mine are too, the difference is that while a pro travels to all the important races across the country racing in front of big crowds against the sport’s best, I can usually be found at regional races trying to scratch and claw my way to the top. Every weekend I pour my heart into my legs and whether I come out on top or not, the only crowd around is usually that of the other racers. However, while it’s hard to equal the adrenaline rush that comes from a raucous crowd at a twilight crit, I’m not here for fame or glory. The only opinion I really care about is that of the other racers and earning their respect within the peloton. Having said that, I do long for the opportunity to prove myself against the best racers in the country week in and week out. Nonetheless, while a pro would generally be sitting back enjoying some much needed carefree R&R, I have to figure out how to pay rent.

While it is hard and does wear on the soul, it’s a life of purity and enjoyment. I’m doing what I love and for all the right reasons. I’m racing bikes for the sake of racing bikes alone. There’s no paycheck, any money I make racing in spent getting me to the next race. It’s a struggle, but it makes success that much sweeter. Yes, it is all in search of the chance to go pro and earn a paycheck. However, to me that paycheck only means a chance to race and train full time. It’s the ability to spend all of my energy trying to be the best bike racer possible. So that when my day comes to walk away from full time bike racing, I can do so knowing I left absolutely everything out on the road. As I anxiously await news about the team for next year, I can’t help but think about how nice it would be to go into next season with a little less financial burden. I’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

This week I’ve also been pondering my future in cyclocross. Last year I came in with no preconceived notions of what my season should be like or any pressure to do well. Everything was new and exciting so it was easy to coast through the season without putting much pressure on myself (I was also winning cat 3 races which took any remaining stress away). Now that I have some experience and the competition is much better, I don’t want to half-ass it. However, there is one major obstacle standing in my way. It’s incredibly simple. I’m not going to get much support. I’m not even sure how I’m going to afford enough equipment to get me rolling. Forget having two bikes and wheel and tire options. I’m talking about a single working bike. It would be easy to say screw it, cross is not my focus so I’m just going to show up and mess around and not worry about it. However, that just wouldn’t be my style would it. If I ever want to see that level of support I need to get some results and start finding my way into the cross hierarchy. I’m just going to have to bite the bullet this year and race out of pocket in an effort to get enough results to warrant some support next year. The thought of having to break through in another discipline is somewhat draining but it’s also motivating. The pursuit of success never seems to get old and it’s apparently the only way I can operate.

So while I’m thinking about the upcoming cross season like every pro, I also have to figure out how I’m going to foot the bill. It’s time to pay some dues.

Quote of the Week: “It’s diet coke. With lime!!!.”

How much coffee is too much?

Whew, a month to the day since my last post. That’s sad for someone who claims to be a journalist. What can I say, I’m spent. The days of waking up fresh, hopping out of bed and jumping on the bike seem a distant memory. Exhaustion has become a theme. Mentally I don’t have a problem getting on the bike but my legs feel otherwise. Every time I ride I feel worse and my training numbers don’t look good. My body is smacking me in face telling me to take a break, something I haven’t done all year so it’s long overdue. I’m resting up for state road race championships this weekend but it’s not looking good. I wanted to hold some form till Carolina Cup in a couple weeks but at this point it doesn’t look possible. I’ll make a decision this weekend but I should probably bite the bullet and hang the bike up for a couple weeks.

The good news is I can hang the bike feeling good about my season. Elk Grove didn’t go quite as planned. It was by far the best amateur field I have ever seen. Those races were hard, period, and there were still 50 guys legitimately fighting at the end. I couldn’t believe it. Regardless, I didn’t feel great on Saturday and bad luck killed me on Sunday when I was stuck behind a crash after free laps had expired. Oh well, the legs were feeling a little better and I was ready to rip it at Crossroads. The five crit series has always been a big deal for the team and I had been looking forward to it all year. Now that it’s all said and done, I rode well and feel like I took another step up. I was in the action every night and had a couple shinning moments. Of course there was some frustration thrown in there but overall I can’t complain too much. The team rode well and once again it was great to be a part of it. Sixth and 12th were my best two finishes but I wasn’t exactly sitting back saving it for the final. I tried to line up every night with aggression and old school fury on my mind. It didn’t quite work out with bunch sprints being the norm for the week but I was able to stay consistent and finished 6th overall for the series. The week definitely left me wanting more but I felt like I had shown myself and was ok with my effort. Unfortunately, after Crossroads everything fell apart. I became sick and just haven’t been myself since then. I think the seven races in eight days were the swansong of my season. Oh well, I had been going good for a while and it’s just time.


Under the lights in Statesville during Crossroads.

Looking back, it’s been another year of ups and downs but most importantly I’ve taken another big step up. I’ve had a blast and when I think back to some of the great memories from the year, on and off the bike, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I also learned a lot from my experiences racing with the pro team so I’m eternally grateful to the managers for having faith in me and giving me those opportunities. Whether or not my performances warrant a spot on the pro team remains to be seen. Would I love to be on the pro squad next year, you bet your ass I would! However, that decision isn’t up to me. Next year is still a question mark but hopefully things will start to take shape in the near future. Regardless of what happens with contracts for next year, I’ll be back stronger than ever and I’ll be looking for big things. Now all I have to do is work my ass off so I’m ready, can’t wait to get started! Oh, wait, cross first though.

The Heat

Since my last post there has been a lot going on but not a lot of energy to spare writing about it. The oppressive heat is legitimately draining, physically and mentally. So my time has been spent at work, training and not much else. However, here's a quick recap.

The Tour of the Valley went great! I was feeling good and excited about my first stage race with the pro sqad. I'll spare you the entire race recap but you can find it at the revamped team Web site, teammountainkhakis.com. To summarize, Joey, Matt and Oscar crushed the entire race and we made lots of money. However, I took a lot more than money back from Ohio.

My time trial performance seemed lacking on paper but my wattage was actually quite good. Not having a TT bike hurt me in the end but no matter, I was ready to work. The road race was on a fairly rolling course with a couple hills. Having three guys in the top four overall, it was up to us to control the race. That meant a lot of time on the front for me and Will. I have to say I rode better than I had anticipated. I did a lot of work, was able to suffer through the climb both times after leading out the guys into the bottom of it and when we hit the finishing circuits I was still in the very select front group. I was fairly spent on the circuits but my job was done. I wanted to have a big ride in the crit but it wasn't quite as good as I had hoped. I covered as many moves as possible in an effort to keep the pre-race plan intact but wasn't able to control the race quite like I wanted. I did manage to work my way up to 20th overall. Not bad considering I did so while being 100% focused on working for the team and spending a lot of time on the front. In fact, I didn't even realize it until Joey told me after we had left so they had to mail the check.


Tour of the Valley TT

It was also a great experience to room with Matt Cooke. Matt has ridden for some of the biggest teams in the country including Navigators and Health Net and his experience showed, on and off the bike. Being a professional bike racer in about so much more than what you see in a race. You have to be a complete professional at all times. It's a business and learning how to conduct yourself off the bike is almost as important and pushing the pedals hard... almost. Also, a big thanks to Jim Behrens for all the amazing support throughout the week. We all had a great time and he took so much weight off our shoulders. He is a true enthusiast and it's refreshing to be around someone who so purely loves bike racing.


Tour of the Valley Crit

After the successful Ohio trip I was ready for some French Broad action but numerous logistical matters led to only going up for the crit. Long story short, tried to get in a break but nothing was going, started pouring rain, felt good but was swarmed before the sprint and had the door shut on me in the final strait, 12th. I felt like rode good and had the sprint to win but should have been more aggressive after I was swarmed.

Oh, the other revelation of the past couple weeks. According to the coach, I'm a sprinter. After finally having reliable power data the sprint legs are looking good. I'll have to admit, the sprint has been feeling good lately. If nothing else, there has been a boost in confidence which never hurts. Hopefully I can pull the trigger on a good sprint the next couple weeks and come up with the goods. With Elk Grove and Crossroads right around the corner there shouldn't be a shortage of opportunities so keep your fingers crossed. With no job and the prospect of having to secure a ride for next year the pressure to perform has been taken up a notch. It's about to get interesting.

I Knew There Was A Turn Up Here Somewhere.

The last few weeks have been up and down. I’ve been training hard and feeling good. The wounds are healing nicely and I’m pleased with where my form is at. You always wish you could be stronger and hopefully I’m still on the upswing. Having said that, I’m in the best shape of my life right now and I’m really excited about this weekend. I’ll be at the Tour of the Valley in Ohio racing with the pro team. It’s a great opportunity to step it up and show that I can be a factor. We’re sending a strong team and any result other than the win will be a disappointment. So the pressure’s on and I have a feeling Ohio’s about to get a taste of old school fury.
The down came when I learned that the owner of the shop I work at was closing it down. So in about a month I’ll be sans job. It’s a bummer because it was a good situation. I more or less made my own schedule and had an amazing boss. I already miss T-bag’s antics and worldly advice. I feel like another speed dial number might have just been spoken for. While the shop closing wasn’t a total shock, it did force me to start thinking about what’s next. I feel like the best way to go about it was to start with what I know for sure and fill in the blanks. The one thing that I do know is that I want to give the bike another year. I’ve worked so hard and come this far, it would be stupid to give up just when I’m getting close. Plus, I love racing my bike. So that’s the easy part, now to fill in the blanks. I remember facing this dilemma last year and I think I have to face it in much the same way. Finish up the year on the road, see what happens with teams for next season and go from there. Until then, I just need to ride hard, try to get results and keep my eyes open for opportunities.
So looking into the immediate future, there’s a lot of work to be done on the road. Ohio this weekend, French Broad the next and then I should be flying for Elk Grove and Crossroads. There is $16,500 up for the two amateur races at Elk Grove and lots of prize money + no job= Elk Grove here we come. In any case, it should be a good opener for crossroads where I hope to have some good performances.
I don’t know where the next turn will lead, but I’m sure it will be taken on a bike seat. Time to Saddle Up.