A lot has been going through my head this week. With last weekend marking the end of yet another long season on the road, rest was in order. My job ended a couple weeks ago so there has been plenty of time to sit back and ponder. Of course when you’re in my position you have to constantly be on the hustle. So I’ve been scraping some things together to keep the coffers from going bare but free time has been plentiful to say the least.
I live the life of a pro, without the paycheck. A pro’s weeks are spent eating, sleeping and riding bikes. Mine are the same except for the addition of a job. A pro’s weekends are generally spent racing. Mine are too, the difference is that while a pro travels to all the important races across the country racing in front of big crowds against the sport’s best, I can usually be found at regional races trying to scratch and claw my way to the top. Every weekend I pour my heart into my legs and whether I come out on top or not, the only crowd around is usually that of the other racers. However, while it’s hard to equal the adrenaline rush that comes from a raucous crowd at a twilight crit, I’m not here for fame or glory. The only opinion I really care about is that of the other racers and earning their respect within the peloton. Having said that, I do long for the opportunity to prove myself against the best racers in the country week in and week out. Nonetheless, while a pro would generally be sitting back enjoying some much needed carefree R&R, I have to figure out how to pay rent.
While it is hard and does wear on the soul, it’s a life of purity and enjoyment. I’m doing what I love and for all the right reasons. I’m racing bikes for the sake of racing bikes alone. There’s no paycheck, any money I make racing in spent getting me to the next race. It’s a struggle, but it makes success that much sweeter. Yes, it is all in search of the chance to go pro and earn a paycheck. However, to me that paycheck only means a chance to race and train full time. It’s the ability to spend all of my energy trying to be the best bike racer possible. So that when my day comes to walk away from full time bike racing, I can do so knowing I left absolutely everything out on the road. As I anxiously await news about the team for next year, I can’t help but think about how nice it would be to go into next season with a little less financial burden. I’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.
This week I’ve also been pondering my future in cyclocross. Last year I came in with no preconceived notions of what my season should be like or any pressure to do well. Everything was new and exciting so it was easy to coast through the season without putting much pressure on myself (I was also winning cat 3 races which took any remaining stress away). Now that I have some experience and the competition is much better, I don’t want to half-ass it. However, there is one major obstacle standing in my way. It’s incredibly simple. I’m not going to get much support. I’m not even sure how I’m going to afford enough equipment to get me rolling. Forget having two bikes and wheel and tire options. I’m talking about a single working bike. It would be easy to say screw it, cross is not my focus so I’m just going to show up and mess around and not worry about it. However, that just wouldn’t be my style would it. If I ever want to see that level of support I need to get some results and start finding my way into the cross hierarchy. I’m just going to have to bite the bullet this year and race out of pocket in an effort to get enough results to warrant some support next year. The thought of having to break through in another discipline is somewhat draining but it’s also motivating. The pursuit of success never seems to get old and it’s apparently the only way I can operate.
So while I’m thinking about the upcoming cross season like every pro, I also have to figure out how I’m going to foot the bill. It’s time to pay some dues.
Quote of the Week: “It’s diet coke. With lime!!!.”
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